Memoirs of the F.A.C.T.

Ice Land is not a scenic panorama with pine trees and snow-capped peaks. It’s definitely not in Europe, and neither does it fit the winter wonderland that probably came into your mind. But yes, it is unpleasantly cold and everything in sight is almost frozen. This Ice Land was a context created by Christine Jesperson, Miranda July’s character in the movie, “Me and You and Everyone We Know”. Upon comprehension, I realized that it’s a distressing phase that may drive anyone in groundless paranoia. Believe me; you don’t want to set foot at this freezing point. So what exactly is this Ice Land? She described Ice Land as that point in a relationship where you suddenly realize it’s not going to last forever, and you can see the end in sight… With this into account, your brain may have paused for a nanosecond, but then series of flashbacks stream in your mind. Suddenly, an emotional déjà vu begins. All the while, you thought that the Ice Land introduction was gibberish Latin, when as a matter of fact; you may have already been there. July’s Ice Land may be considered intangible milieu, but this term was coined from our very emotions. At one point in time, we may have experienced Ice Land in our relationships… the heartwarming passion is suddenly replaced with an eerie chill. And it seems like no matter what we do, it just gets more frigid. Indeed, it’s that dreaded phase of the relationship. Some are fortunate to have surpassed it, while some are still lost and trapped in the heart of Ice Land. As we carry on foregoing some things for the sake of our ambitions, more people will find themselves another step nearer the Ice Land. But then again, the decision would still be ours. Consider Ice Land as a chamber in a labyrinth: yes, it’s there, but it’s a mere option. It’s still up to us whether to take it or not.

The gift of motherhood has been accorded to me at a sweet age.  On the advent of my twenties, my womb cradled an innocent angel.  Often perceived as a rough go obligation, the optimist in me decided to embrace it as euphoria.

With the dawning of this personal epoch, I saw the need for my emotional rebirth.  Following the teeming sessions of pondering in the backwoods, I gathered enough strength to kiss my fears goodbye.  I likewise encouraged my mother, who was so affected by my situation, to accept what happened to me.  Besides, why should energy be wasted for all those boohoo?  After all, babies will not be considered “bundles of joy” for no reason. 

At present, I’m a doting mother of a charming six-year-old and an energetic one-and-a-half.  It would be hypocrisy should I say that motherhood would be like walking in the clouds.  There were several occasions that I found myself seeming to be obliged to thread a yarn in an almost eyeless needle.  However, believe me when I say that motherhood, or even parenthood in general, is a gift that will make your life more meaningful.  The parental struggles that you might face are nothing compared to the bliss that your children will give you. 

The joy that I felt with the births of my children cannot be compared to anything.  Up to this point in time, I can’t find the right words to describe the feelings contained in my heart the first time I heard their cries.  I daresay, the sensation was much better than orgasm. 

Moreso, the best part of it is that momentous event was just the beginning of several experiences… events that I will be dying to share.  If you have a child, there’s never a dull moment.  The usual thrill of seeing their first smile, first laugh, and first step are mere ho-hums compared to the other joyous firsts you will witness in their lives.  They will also have some unfortunate yet comic misadventures that will make you worry for a few minutes, but chuckle afterwards. 

Given that I’m still unwed up to this point in time; my family is still in a bittersweet mode when it comes to accepting that I’m a mother.  In a society that is founded in religion and morality, my situation is considered a curse.  To spare my reputation, I could have just undergone a secret abortion, or could have just compelled the father to marry me even if we’re not emotionally ready.  But abortion is murder, and marriage is a sacrament that you should only enter into when BOTH parties are ready to commit.  With this, is single parenthood really something to be ashamed of? 

Nonetheless, innocent of the condemnations thrown at us, my children go on with their usual, and celebrate each day like a blessing.  On those days that I seem to be aloof or when I’m on the verge of my silent screams, they suddenly manage to pull-off some antics like natural stand-ups.  No matter how gravid

Each time that I see my daughter and son sharing moments of laughter; the painful memories of my past fades away.  Each time I see my children bring out the soft side of my father; the more I treasure my family.  Each time I find myself embraced by their sticky arms, I know that I have all the reasons to be proud and undaunted of the bashing accusations of others.  After all motherhood is not a popularity contest that obliges you to please everybody… it’s all about what your children think of you and what you would make out of them. 

This is a mere summary of updates regarding my other blogs. Due to some reasons that I still am unaware of, I came to realize that my blog, “The Journey of The Sui Juris Sprite” in Blogger is a total crap when retrieved from Mozilla Firefox. It should be retrieved from Internet Explorer. There is a big possibility that the one at fault is our Jurassic unit, but nonetheless I’ll give you the blogs that I created. Some have the same contents for this now apparent reason:

FOR THE PROSE

* The Journey Of The Sui Juris Sprite – One of my blogspots that contains the know-it-all blogs I posted here in Friendster. (http://suijurissprite.blogspot.com)

* My Odyssey In This Labyrinth - same contents as “The Journey Of The Sui Juris Sprite”, but posted in Ebloggy. (http://lasuijurissprite.ebloggy.com)

PRESENTING MY POETRY

• Verses of Esprit – My blogspot that contains my English poetries (http://etherealverse.blogspot.com)

• The Ballad of My Soul – My English poems at Ebloggy. Same content as the “Verses of Esprit” (http://etherealcarols.ebloggy.com)

• Sa Piling ng Lakambini - My poetries in Pinoy posted at Ebloggy. (http://malayangmutya.ebloggy.com)

MISCELLANEOUS ETCETERAS

• Get To Know Yourself – this blog is actually a compilation of the description of each zodiac. You may have gotten some of them from emails, but reading the one I posted will not give you pressure – cause they’re not chain letters. (http://duhfact.ebloggy.com)

There you go. Yeah, I have 7 blogs, including my Friendster. I’m a bit obsessive compulsive when it comes to organizing my literary works, so I purposely created a blog dedicated to my poems, and a blog dedicated to my essays.

Some of you may have already read this from my blogspot.  But for some odd reasons, though, I am unable to update it when the new Blogger came out.  With my attempt to temporarily migrate some of my posts from Blogger here in Friendster blog, allow me to share a few tassels of thought.

MARRIAGE. 

Dear me, I can’t believe it.  I was actually able to write that almost extinct word… properly spelled, mind you. 

Nothing special, actually.  It just so happens that I only see a few people committing to that sacrament nowadays.  Well, some people pretend to be married, when the only thing that happened to them was to be wed.

Hey, please don’t get me wrong.  I’m just another lady who loves witnessing weddings and sighs in the idea of marriage.  Alas, I’m not in daydream mode at the moment…

Frank Sinatra was right when he said that Love and Marriage go together like Horse and Carriage.  He was wrong though when he said that you can’t have one without the other. Love can suffice without Marriage just like a Horse can live without a Carriage. Without a doubt though, Love is more meaningful with Marriage and Horse is more useful when it pulls a Carriage.

This blog is about that wonderful “Carriage” that adds purpose to the “Horse”: Marriage.

Marriage has a deeper meaning that a lot of people fail to reflect on. It entails more than the dream wedding in San Agustin Cathedral and the honeymoon in Europe. It is more than about imagining yourself spending your lifetime with your special someone and your would-be kids.

One should realize that conflict is one unavoidable fact in marriage… yet it is. A husband and his wife are two different individuals who are raised by two different families and grew up with their own circle of friends. With this in mind, it will normal for people to find themselves occasionally disagreeing with their partners. And no, it’s not about a question of your compatibility. A lot of people think that their marriage was a failure because they think that they are not compatible with their partners. Compatibility is just a mindset that we dictate to ourselves. Hence, you may ask, “why do some couples argue more often than the others?” There are several possible reasons: pride, a know-it-all personality, you think your partner is worthless, etc. (well honestly, if you are any of these, you will never be “compatible” with anybody).

Marriage does not and should not only revolve within the relationship between the man and woman. They should also consider the several other webbing relationships encompassing around: their relationship with their respective family and friends; their relationship with the family and friends of their partner; and most importantly, their relationship with themselves. More likely than not, they would find themselves in heated arguments should one of these relationships is taken for granted. As a matter of fact, this is one of the reasons why some marriage is jeopardized. One of the partners feels that they’ve given up a lot for the other… that their life only revolved around the other to a point that they’ve forgotten who they are.

I find it unfair against men when people stereotype and claim that men fear marriage. Man or no man, no one fears marriage per se. Rather, men actually fear their own egos. They are afraid that they will not be able to meet the expectations of their partners. I believe that men look at marriage as their “Happy-Ever-After” promise to their partner. And as long as they are unsure as to whether they can commit to that promise or not, they would opt to stay on the safe side.

Calasanz said that good people could create bad relationship even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. This is because they’re focusing on the wrong things. They look more into saving the relationship in general like spending more quality time or doing the things that they used to do. I’m not saying that this is the wrong move, but I think there’s a more effective way. To make a relationship work, they should always be engaging into new stuff that they haven’t done before or do not usually do (just to shake the ordinary routines). No matter how much effort you exert to spend more time with one another, if you are obviously bored with the company of one another… it’s just a daft useless effort.

I’m not married yet, but I’m happier compared to some married women who found themselves hitched with Casanovas and good for nothing assholes.  I’m not married yet… but I don’t mind, cause I know it’s worth the wait.