Memoirs of the F.A.C.T.

This is the website that I created when I was still pregnant with Raisha… that’s roughly 5 or 6 years ago.

http://www.geocities.com/kiky4199/index.html

After reading it, you may have realized how pathetically in love I was with her father.   Sad to say, rather than reciprocating it to the same extent, he did otherwise.  For a while, I told myself that he would change.  Lo and behold, he became worse.  I taught myself to be numbed by pain brought upon by this reality, but it came to a point that I got fed up already. 

Well obviously, our relationship didn’t have a happily-ever-after ending.  I, yes, it was I, who broke up with him.  If I elaborate, you’ll realize that I have all the reasons to do so, but to give my daughter the respect due to her, I’ll skip the details.

I wrote this blog for my friends who are so obsessed with their good-for-nothing boyfriends.  I already made one before, but, as you may have noticed, my first blog was deleted (well, I deleted it, actually).

When you fall in love with someone, it seems like your life will end the moment your relationship with him ends.  HEL-LO?!  You survived half of your life sans that asshole!

I’m not saying that all men, in general, are bastards.  More than half of my friends are guys, most of you know that.  I’m thankful that they treat me well.  They treat me like a princess. Some of them put their women in the pedestal. For some however, well, I’m just thankful I’m not their girlfriends.

A lot of them are actually surprised with my outlook in life.  They would always tell me, that I don’t sound anything like their girlfriends (yes, with an S!).  Cause as some of you may have already known by now, I’m not actually the type of GF who investigates and spies on her bf.

Honestly, if they would ask me a few years ago, I may still sound like their GFs, probably even worse than them.  But hey, I have 101 reasons not to be like such anymore.

I always keep in mind what my mother used to tell me:  love your man by maintaining a slim distance from him.  When a woman puts a silver lining between her and her man, it makes the man long for her much more.  In a nutshell, what I’m trying to say is, live your own life, girl.  Don’t allow yourself to become a shadow of your guy… make your man be the one to get that lining out of the way.

Change is the only permanent thing in this world.  With this, it is safe for me to say, that there is at least a 1% possibility, that you will still not end with the guy who snagged you.  With the obvious threat of divorce, marriage is no longer your sanctuary.  With that being said, take a good look of your bf, or your husband, cause that may be the last.  (dan-dan-dan-dan!)

It really breaks my heart whenever I see my friends unable to go about their activities because their guys seem to be laser-tattooed in their minds.  What’s really more heart breaking is when they start to cry out of no reason.  My sympathies to you, but  Duh?!

Move on, girls.  So what if your guy cheats on you?  Then dump that guy and look for someone who doesn’t.  That was the road I travelled, and I’m so happy with that decision.

Paranoia won’t do you any good.  If you think he will not cheat just for you, you may want to think again.  I will be the devil’s advocate here… It may hurt to know the truth (well, reality bites, anyways), but believe me, there’s a bigger chance that your guy does not love you as much as you think. 

Oh, please don’t get me wrong. This blog is not only for those cheating hearts. This blog is also dedicated for those girls who are stuck with BFs who think that the definition of future is just "tomorrow", and if you’re lucky, it also includes "the day after tomorrow". This is also dedicated for those who have donned all shades of bruises from, green to blue to black, etc.

Just like what I said, I have a lot of guy friends.  You should hear them whenever they have a get together.  Sometimes, it really pisses the shit out of me, sometimes I just find myself laughing with them.  Because honestly, some girls are just so desperate, they don’t mind making a fool out of themselves just to check on their guys.   

Girl, spare your sanity from the threat of obsession… spare your tears and wipe those mascara smudge goodbye!  I made this blog not to break your hearts, but to open your mind to reality… this is what’s really happening. Please, please, please… stop being a martyr. Being one is actually a stepping stone to obsession… is your guy really worth it?

Here’s a hint, though… if you want to become a "for keeps"… give your guy a break.  Yeah, I know you just love your beau so much, but that shouldn’t be an excuse to put them in a short leesh. The last thing that a guy wants is another mother. He loved you as a girlfriend and not as a guardian, so be a girlfriend. Neither should you also tolerate the frustrated Manny Pacquiao in him. Just so you know, if he abuses you physically or even emotionally or psychologically, there is already a case that can be filed against him… heard about "Violence Against Women"?

And lastly, always keep in mind the golden rule: don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you. So, if you don’t want your bf to give you a miserable life, don’t give him one.

I really can’t help it… the conceited me just can’t help not to adore this poem, cause this is just so me. 

This is actually my self-description in my other profile, for the simple reason that this poem is screaming "I am Frankie’s Poem" like geronimo.

I AM WHO I WAS BORN TO BE

I am not evil.
I am deliciously nasty.
My lips smile like wicked rubies.
I watch with inhuman knowledge.

I am not gorgeous.
I am fatally beautiful.

I am not bitchy.
I am opinionated woman.
I speak as sharply as a sword.
I think as quickly as a cat.

I am not selfish.
I am self-preserving.
I do care for others.
I must care for myself so I CAN help the
needy.

I am not psychotic.
I am a dreamer.
I want a peaceful future.
I wish for a harmonius life.

I am not a child.
I am merely young at heart.
I can make my own decisions.
I will write down my own thoughts.

I am not you or what you think I am.
I am who I was born to be

by Ember Darkmoon

It’s one of those carefree Mondays; I have no obligations that need to be accomplished.   Well, I was supposed to go to Sykes to finish my clearance, but no one was answering the phone when I called.  That gives me a reason not to go there just yet, and just stay in my mom’s place, instead.  They may not tell it to me, but it’s a given fact that my parents love it whenever both my kids are in their place, especially now that Andy’s starting to be more active.   Ah, I have more than enough reasons to sit back and relax… oh, what a feeling!

On the second thought, what the hell am I going to do?  I’m not sleepy; I’m staying in the white house, where the owners are not exactly cable TV fans, so that means I wouldn’t be able to watch the rerun of Iron Chef America and America’s Next Top Model; neither can I smoke… My word!   I’m helplessly trapped in despair!!! Waaaaaah!!!!

I thought that I’m doomed to suffer in boredom today, but lo and behold my Ninong Ed has arrived (Yahoo!!!)   I love it whenever he pays us a visit.  My Ninong Ed is probably one of the wackiest yet stern brothers of my mom.   I love talking to him, because I never have this feeling of restriction whenever I do so.   He’s fun to talk with, and I love his jokes and how he laughs… and to top it off, it’s a bonus that he is uber generous, if you know what I mean (wink wink).   Although whenever he starts to give me those serious talks, as much as I would try to hold back my tears, I would always end up sobbing in between words.   But, just like what I said awhile ago, I still love him so much.

It was supposed to be a surprise visit (cge na nga, sakyan na natin ang drama), but thanks to my Tita Lynne (my favorite Tita who can be my mom, cause I look so much like her, as opposed to my own mother), we had an idea about it (mwehehehe).   He arrived here together with the Barletas.  I love these guys; they’re just so down to earth.  They have this way of making me talk to them.   And more often than not, I end up doing all the talking, and them doing all the laughing (if you’ve been tagged "corny" a lot of times, laughter means a lot).   An hour after, Kuya Eric came here with Kuya (I forgot his name).  With that, it gave my mom more reasons to be happy. 

As for me, I think the Sandman missed me so much because I ignored him for several days already.   I’m still a bit sleepy, amidst the fact that I slept 12 hours last Saturday and 10 hours last night (that was the first for me after a month, I think).  I’ll try to wink forty times in a while, or just drown myself in caffeine tonight.

All I can say now is that I’m thankful that at last, God gave me a stress-free day!

I’m officially 25 years old.  I can’t believe it.  Am I happy about being 25?  Of course, I am.  I don’t look like a 25 year old, anyways (teehee). 

That day turned out to be just like what I expected.  If you’re going to look at it on the surface, it seems to be just an ordinary day for me.  I didn’t tell anyone that my birthday is fast approaching, so I can say that those who are really thoughtful and dear to my heart were the first to greet me on that special day.  Well, of course my family and Paolo were the one of the first people to greet me (given na yun, no!).  I intentionally didn’t blab about my birthday, with the objective of finding out who really remembered that it was my birthday.  With that, I thank my Sykes friends, namely Pau Cantara, Alick Narcelles, Eboy Bautista and Red del Rosario, for remembering my day and greeting me a Happy Birthday.  I was also touched, because Isabelle Gutierrez even called to greet me.  Thanks, girlfriend.  You’re oh so sweet!  I miss you, girl!  Some people who I never expected to greet me greeted me as well, like Noel Hernandez, Jerrick Flores, Dang Lopez and Jade Yao.  I was so touched! 

OK, so maybe I’m starting to sound like I just won an award (there goes the drama queen Frankie again!), but what the heck! 

It was a bittersweet celebration for me.  Yes, I am happy because that day was a blast for Team FranKieToPia, but because of some circumstances, I found myself in silent pain.  Well, for a night or two, I was able to give the wild cat in me a break before my birthday (mwehehe).  Now I can say that I was able to do something before my life starts to become a total bore (I really needed that Decades Night Out with Team Angelo). 

Wala lang.  It came to a point for me that my life was like bahay-opisina, opisina-bahay, and it’ starting to maul my sanity.  I want to scream in despair, but I would rather keep my composure and pretend that nothing is wrong.  The scenario has been like this for the past several weeks (or should I say months?).  With that, I took a break (or should I say temptations?); I gave in, and did things that I yearned to do for the longest time.

I think that was the best gift that I got on my birthday: the acceptance that I have been depriving myself for a very long time.  For months, I trapped myself in this illusion that everything is alright, amidst the fact that it was contradicting to the truth.  Plus, it doesn’t end there.  I accepted what I really feel and did something about it… it’s the most liberating thing I have done so far.

I can’t believe it.  A few days from now, I’ll be 25.  Unlike others, I don’t fear being another year older.  As a matter of fact, I’m excited.  I can’t wait to be 25!  Well, what else is new?  I’ve been like that for as long as I can remember.

I really don’t know what’s in store for me on my special day.  All I’m wishing for is a pleasant surprise.  After all, for the past several weeks, I found myself stuck in what seems to be a bottomless abyss of bad luck.  I think a single day full of bliss is not too much for a wish.

Now what am I going to do on my day?  Of course, I’ll be stuck in the office, crossing my fingers that my team hits goal (especially Close Rate).  Only a few people in the office know when my birthday is, so I really don’t have to worry about people crowding my station requesting for a treat (teehee). 

My credit cards are still with my mom, so they’re spared from being swiped by me ’til they’re paper thin (sigh!). 

My mom said that my Ninong Ed will be coming from the States.  I really don’t know if he’ll be here in time for my birthday, but I’ll try to bat my eyelashes in the hope that he’ll give me some greens… hopefully a Benjamin (yebba!).

When I was trying to kill time during my Sykes days, I made this list of all the things I want to get on my birthday and this Christmas.  I didn’t have the chance to retrieve it.  I could have easily made another list, but I realized that it’s no longer necessary.  What will really make me happy on my birthday are intangible things.  Sad to say, even if I want some specific things to happen, or not to happen, these circumstances are  not in the scope of my control:   I will just be in the receiving end, either rejoicing or grieving brought about by the outcomes (here goes the drama queen in me again!).

Indeed, a few days from now, I’ll be 25… 

- On that day, I have two adorable angels to share it with…

- I was able to rekindle my relationship with my parents that has been wounded and left not mended for several months…

-I likewise witnessed how they passed their love for me to my children…                                                                               

- I realized how supportive my sister is and how much she loves me and my children…

- Paolo and I surpassed trials together and remained steadfast amidst "a series of unfortunate events"…

- I may have left Sykes, but my relationship with my dearest friends remained intact… 

- I started a new chapter of my life in Ambergris and met new friends to treasure along the way…

Do I have a reason to be happy on my birthday?  Yes, I do!  Happy Birthday to me!

People who know me well know for a fact that I am hooked with horoscopes.  One thing I do first when I get to know someone is to find out when his birthday is, for me to find out what his zodiac sign is.  I do this because more often than not, the description is very very true.  Read on and you’ll find out.

I got the results below from a website.  I totally forgot where it was (too bad I wasn’t able to save it).  Read on.  You’ll realize that it’s so me.  Read each paragraph.  Believe me, all of them are true.

Libra woman good at it and tend to look younger than her age (ahem).

She always has good reasons; even she likes to contradict herself (yeah, and I totally hate it). She cannot decide what is right and wrong for her, because everything has a good side and a bad side(you always hear that from me). Woman in other Zodiac might not care what other people think, but Libra woman care what other people, or what you feel as much as her own feeling.

She can adjust to her environment very well, so at work she will be at the ladder up. She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her for help or advice, she will help you except if she does not like your guts (you can say that again). She can change you and make you think you change by yourself without her influence.

If she is the one you are after, then go step by step. The best way is using her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or treat her like a bubble head. You have to move forward toward her with confident and secure. Show her that you are a kind , polite and a real gentleman. Be a slow hand or else you might get smack!

Below is another test that I answered.  This, though, is not based on your Zodiac, but on your birth date…

Your Birthdate: October 18

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator.

You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas. Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others. Oddly enough, you don’t expect as much in return as you give.

I also love IQ Tests…

Congratulations,  Frances Angela!

              
      

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Word Warrior. This means you have exceptional verbal skills. You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems. Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you’re able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas. And that’s just a small part of what we know about you from your test results.

There, I just gave you a preview on how passionate I am in answering tests.  Believe me, these tests helped me understand the real me. 

You can see more results of the tests I answered @ http://www.duhfact.blogspot.com/.  If you want to answer other tests, you can check out quizilla.com and tickle.com.